38. Real Talk: Anxiety, Imposter Syndrome + Finding Acceptance - Dr. Amanda Burke

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Overview

Meet Dr. Burke. Not only is she wicked smart as a clinical psychologist, but she's also the most frank, tell-it-like-it-is nurturer and virtual hugger you'll meet. As host of the Psych Junkie Podcast, she talks about the stuff that we don't typically share but need to. She'll get vulnerable about herself too, and show us how there's healing AND strength in that vulnerability. We are here for it and for healing ourselves and those around us. We hope it will make your heart feel a little fuller today

Today’s Guest

Dr. Amanda Burke, Clinical Psychologist, Fitness Instructor + Podcast Host, The Psych Junkie

“Cognition, our thoughts, I like to think of them as narratives. Imposter syndrome is just a story we have conjured up to make sense of our insecurities and vulnerabilities.”

— Dr. Amanda Burke, Psychologist

Dealing with anxiety surrounding COVID-19 and other challenges throughout this past year
Acceptance of anxiety is a huge component to manage our feelings and thoughts
Party analogy
Imposter Syndrome: Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
How to rewrite the narratives in our heads
Don’t avoid. Pivot towards things that provide grounding and peace
Be mindful and present - particularly with our donors. Slow down, listen, and connect
How philanthropy can help with the healing process
“Doing” is more meaningful than just sitting around thinking about something. Philanthropy allows us to engage in that compassion
Becky’s One Good Thing: How can you be a blessing to someone else today?
Amanda’s One Good Thing: “Not today.” Whenever stories come in that won’t guide you in the right direction or will hold you back, immediately say “not today.”

Powerful Quotes:

“COVID-19 gave us all a wakeup about where are our values? How are we spending our time?” -Jon

“Acceptance is the tool that we need when we encounter any problem that we don’t know how to solve.” -Amanda

“Avoidance tends to make anxiety worse in the long run. It sends a message to ourselves that we’re not able to handle the discomfort, so when it pops up again we avoid it. The longer we avoid, the worst the anxiety gets.” - Amanda

“Too often we are focusing on the controlling it or fixing it approach, when we should be taking the values based approach.” -Amanda

“There needs to be an acknowledgement of how we truly feel. We aren’t acknowledging feelings that we don’t want to have: feelings of nervousness, fear, grief, loss, disappointment, rejection, depression, sadness, and guilt. So we tend to struggle with those feelings, resist them, and push them away.” -Amanda

“Most achieving people have imposter syndrome. When we feel like we aren’t enough we keep reaching to prove ourselves.” -Amanda

“Cognition, our thoughts, I like to think of them as narratives. Imposter syndrome is just a story we have conjured up to make sense of our insecurities and vulnerabilities.” -Amanda

“Pivot towards the thing that provide a sense of comfort and grounding. That could be music, being outside, taking 30 minutes to write and be creative, it looks different for everybody.” -Amanda

“When we are completely present, a lot of things become noise in the background.” -Amanda

“One of the myths that we are bad at keeping around is that we are special in certain ways. We think we are the only ones who are nervous, struggling, etc. We aren’t special, we are all humans that struggle.” -Amanda

“Philanthropy is the love of humanity. Philanthropy helps heal people and can be a part of the healing process.” -Jon

“Doing always come out to feel more meaningful versus just sitting around and thinking about how something is important to you.” -Amanda

Steps to calm, center, and cut the white noise out

Take a values based approach. Values driven action produces side effects of feeling more purposeful
What at the end of the day is going to make me feel like I’ve done something meaningful?
Focus on what you could do now vs. what you used to do
Accept and acknowledge your feelings
Be completely present and mindful - everything else is just noise
Love yourself and others through the process

Battling imposter syndrome: stop being your own worst enemy

Cognition, our thoughts, are stories. Imposter syndrome is just a narrative
Admit that you have multiple stories. You can have the imposter story, but we also have other stories
Appreciate all your stories for what they are: they serve a purpose